Everyday life is not pretty. It is messy. We can’t tie it up into a neat bow. We wait, we agonize, we make choices, we put on a happy face. Beneath that sliver of a smile lies the truth, the truth that we are often discontent, unsatisfied, longing for something more, something that will make us feel alive. That glimmer of aliveness may come in the form of a romantic kiss, a complement from a boss, an encounter with a friend, a beautifully prepared meal, a realization, an uplifting interaction with a stranger.
In this messy life, we constantly compare ourselves to the infamous other. She is more beautiful. He has so many friends. I wish I had a relationship like them. This game of comparison leaves us empty, longing, desirous, feeling bad about ourselves and victim to our circumstances. We become paralyzed by the fear that what we are isn’t enough.
Fear inhibits powerful choice. Fear makes us timid and coy, risk averse, settled. If we succumb to our fear, we become more willing to accept the status quo and less willing to invite in aliveness.
So what does it look like to break through fear in pursuit of aliveness? For me, right now, it looks like a move to another country in pursuit of love. It looks like letting go of the life that I worked hard to create and embracing new beginnings. It looks like this blog. By giving voice to my passions and being able to share them with you, I feel alive. (Thank you for that!)
As Sandy Gingras writes in her illustrated book:
If you don’t go out on a limb and give it the chance to break off, how will you ever know if you can fly?