A year goes by…
…new work, pregnancy, a new home.
Another year goes by…
…a baby, a new identity overnight.
And here I stand. In the whirlwinds of change, I have not created space for writing. I’ve been busy riding the waves, feeling the currents of emotion, arriving in this totally new realm that is motherhood, womanhood, adulthood.
I know somewhere deep inside that nothing has washed away or been cast aside. But I also know that my life will never be the same. I am not the same.
This little man joined me on the scene last March.
The advice poured in: sleep while the baby sleeps, don’t lose yourself, make time for you and your partner. Pregnant, I thought it all made sense — if anyone could do it, I could. After all, I spent years doing the inner and outer work to take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, before choosing to try to get pregnant. I had set boundaries, changed careers, confronted ugly parts of myself, navigated relationships and even moved countries. But nothing was as earth shattering as this.
Nothing/no-one deepens my capacity to love and challenges me beyond belief like this tiny human. Equal parts miraculous, beautiful, painful and terrifying, this journey into motherhood has been nothing short of trying.
Photo by Maria Vicencio Photography
And although it has been a roller coaster ride over the last two years, I still think of you. Between diaper changes, night wake ups, playing and laundry loads, I think of writing. I think of sharing my feelings and thoughts with other women. I think of Wardrobe Vibrancy, of celebrating new possibilities in style and in life. And I think of continuing to foster a community of supportive women who lift each other up and celebrate and elevate the realities of daily life.
With the intention to get back to it, I make this reclamation: it is possible to be a mother AND a creative. It is possible to be a mother AND have a career. It is possible to be a mother AND a dreamer. It is possible to be a mother AND.